Wanted: A Workout Buddy

Okay all. It's time for me to start running again and get rid of ALL the baby weight I've gained over the past four years (LOL). I love working out, but have a hard time doing things on my own. So I'm wondering if any of you would commit to working out with me in the evenings probably after 7 pm as many times a week as you can. After trying on all of my old clothes and not being able to wear them, it's time to kick my butt into gear. Besides, I'm too poor to go buy more.

So let me know if you are interested. Mostly, I like to run, but I'm up for anything. I currently don't have a gym membership and have been thinking about getting one. If you have a membership and will be my workout buddy, I'll join yours. I'm desperate.

(PS. I would work out with Jacob, but I need a babysitter and he's cheap labor lol!)

On Our Own Again

Well, we've finally moved into our new house. We've stayed there an entire week. We still have some stuff at Mom and Dad's, but for the most part, we've totally moved in. Not everything is in it's place yet, but we are working on that. Most importantly, we have cable, no, Noggin again!

As much as I hate to admit it, yes, I use tv as a babysitter. Sometimes that is the only way I can get anything done. Calvin and Cali would watch countless hours of tv if I'd let them, but Karadyn couldn't care less about what's on. She constantly follows Jacob or me around the house, and undoes anything we just cleaned, but we just try to smile and keep going.

There is still much that we would like to do to "finish" working on the house, but I'm so...oo happy with what we (and by we I mean Jacob) have accomplished. The house has undergone a huge transformation with just carpet, tile, and a new kitchen. You wouldn't think it was the same house if you saw the before and after pictures. We still want to update the bathrooms and such, but we will have to wait on that for a while.

It's funny, this is the first house that I actually feel like it's ours. I mean, we didn't just move in to someone else's house that they added on to for their own reasons or decorated to suit their style. This house shows our taste (or some people might say lack of taste). I love it even though people think we have purple carpet.

I'm so happy to start making memories in this house with my family and friends. So to all you friends and family, come on over and let's make some memories! Our door is always open and I hope you know you are always welcome!

Some things on my mind

Not to back track over the entire year or anything, but I've been thinking about what I would write in our family's Christmas letter to send to others. It wouldn't be so hard to think of what to write had I done a better job at keeping up the blog. Yes, a lot has happened to our family; none of it too exciting, but still a lot. Instead of giving a summary of events, I want to share what I feel I have learned with you. This year I have learned a lot about the blessings that come from family and how important they are to me.

When Jacob lost last September, we knew that there was no way we could continue to make our mortgage payment. He was unemployed until January, but even then, he was only bringing home about half of what he previously made. We tried everything we could to keep the house. We just weren't able to. When we finally got a foreclosure notice in February, we decided that we should try to short-sale the house instead of taking a total loss. We put the house up for sale on Valentine's day and had two offers within the first two weeks! It took a little time to get the final acceptance, but we were scheduled to close at the end of April. That happening so quickly was almost unheard of for a short-sale. It was very bittersweet for us.

We had owned that house for three years to the day. That was more than just a house, it was our home. We had so many memories there, which a lot of you are a part of. We wanted to be there for a long time. Jacob said he never wanted to move. But we were obviously in over our heads. It was at this time that I discovered I was pregnant. Again. Great.

Jacob and I had no idea what we were going to do. We couldn't even afford a 2-bedroom apartment, which we were seriously considering renting. We had no other choice but to ask Mom and Dad for help. Of course they said that we could live with them and that they would help us get into another house. Wow! I remember Mom said that like it was no big deal. It was a big deal. It was a huge deal. Her and Dad finally got the house to themselves, when their 23 year old daughter and her family of five were going to fill it back up again. And not only were they going to let them live there, they were going to get them into another house which they couldn't do on there own.

Let me just tell you, there was no feeling I have ever experienced like asking Mom and Dad to bail us out. I was utterly humiliated. I remember the huge lump I had in my throat that I tried to swallow so I wouldn't cry. I couldn't even ask in person, I had to do it over the phone. My mom didn't even hesitate when she said that of course they would help us. Sometimes I wonder if that is what is meant when we are told that Heavenly Father has blessings in store for us if we will but ask Him.

We moved in and have been here the entire year. We looked all over for a house to buy, but got nowhere. If there was anything I've learned about buying a house it's that if it doesn't go smoothly, it's probably not meant to be. We finally got a house in October but it needed some fixing up. The fixing up is practically done, and we are almost totally moved in.

I am so grateful to have parents that love me and are able and willing to help me out in my time of need. I hope to be able to be just like them with my kids. I am grateful for all of the sacrifices they have made on my behalf. I am forever indebted to them.


Now I want to take this chance to express how I am feeling to my family...every single member.


I am grateful to know you. I am grateful for your friendship, hospitality, and the memories that I have with each of you. I am sorry for things that I may have said or not said that have hurt you. I want you all to be in my life. I enjoy the time we spend together and the conversations we have. I am sorry if I have not taken the time to talk to you like a good sister (-in-law, daughter, aunt, etc.) should ( I am TERRIFIED of having a more than 30 second phone call). Even though I may not say it, I love you. I am here for you know matter what. I apologize if I ever made you feel differently. WE ARE FAMILY. I will be here for you eternally.

I am sorry if I have hurt your feelings or made you sad. I am sorry if I judged you or treated you unfairly. I want to start fresh with each of you and move forward in a uplifting way. I want desperately to be closer to each of you. I know that I don't always act that way, but I do care about you and what goes on in your lives. I am resolving to you, that I will try harder to be better at being involved in your lives if you will let me.

I've heard people say that we got to pick our families here on earth. I don't know if that is doctrine or not, but I am glad that you are part of my family. I am grateful that I get to spend eternity with you. I am grateful for temples and the sealing power found there. I hope that we can make the most of the time we have now on earth and make many happy memories together.

I love you. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

Erin

It's Official

Well, as of Wednesday, the Dr. confirmed that I am pregnant. She told me that my estimated due date was November 13, just two days before Cali's birthday. That puts me at about 16 weeks along right now.
I'm not going to lie. Jacob and I were NOT trying to get pregnant. I actually didn't want to get pregnant for at least another year. I was trying to get my body back in pre-Calvin shape and was well into my diet and workout routine when the home pregnancy test came back positive. I cried and didn't want to believe it. I was nervous and scared.
The main reason I didn't want to have another baby for awhile was due to Karadyn's cataract and everything that includes. I am over being nervous about having four kids under five, but I am very nervous that something will be wrong with this baby that I will have to deal with on a daily basis. I know putting in and taking out a contact every day isn't a lot, but it sure causes its fair share of fights between Jacob and I and causes a lot of headaches for everyone. I don't know how parents of children with special needs do it. Most of the time, I get so pissed off at Jacob and Karadyn that I just want to be alone and pretend that nothing is even wrong and that I don't care. I do care. I care a lot actually.
I'm terrified that my actions will eventually be the cause of Karadyn loosing total vision in her eye. I don't want to feel that weight on my shoulders. It's scary being responsible for a baby in the sense that what you do know will have lasting consequences not only for me, but for Karadyn too.
On a lighter note, I am getting really excited about having another baby. We have a feeling that it is a boy which is what we all want (except Cali), but we will be happy come boy or girl. I am going in for my first ultrasound on the 4th, but that is the one just to date the pregnancy and don't know if they will be able to determine the baby's sex at that time.
Until then...

Happy Anniversary!

Three years ago today, Jacob and I were sealed for time and all eternity in the Mesa, Arizona Temple. After we were sealed, Calvin joined us in the room and was also sealed to us for time and all eternity. Our family and friends were there to celebrate the occasion with us. Even those who couldn't be with us in the temple gave us their support. It was a wonderful day to say the least.

Needless to say, our journey to get to the temple wasn't as easy as it could have been. It seemed like once we had made up our minds to be sealed and set a date, everything that could have deterred us from that path did. It was hard to go to church for us since no one in our ward ever acknowledged us. Even once we started taking the temple preparedness classes, people from that class would still not even talk to us. I remember going into Relief Society and sitting by someone and then they got up and moved. So much for making friends. It was so hard to go when it felt like no one wanted you there. But we kept our goal in sight and went anyway.

I'm not going to lie though. It wasn't that being sealed to Jacob wasn't enough for me to want to go, but once Calvin was born, he really made me focus and that goal. I didn't want to go through the motions because I knew that was what I was supposed to do. I wanted to for myself, because I had a testimony of the temple. I wanted to really be worthy of entering the holy doors of the temple. I was and I knew it and the Lord knew it. The Spirit was so strong during the sealing. Of course I couldn't stop crying (if you know me, I'm always crying). I looked like a mess! But I'm so glad that things played out the way they did. I don't know if we would have done things right in the first place if I would have the same feelings for the temple.

I am so greatful for my family. I am greatful for the temple and the sacred sealing power there. I am grateful for the Gospel and the joy it brings into my life. I am greatful for the Atonement and the opprotunity I have to repent of my shortcommings and weaknesses. I am greatful that this is a gospel of repentance. I am greatful for Jacob and everything that he does for me and for our family. He always puts his family before himself. I love him and the man that he is.

Hope this wasn't too personal for you, but most of you that read this are my family and you should know how I feel. I am greatful for all of you and the support you gave us and the inspiration you all were that helped us want to get to the temple that much more.

p.s. Happy Birthday Grandpa Dick!

Sorry, I'm New

Sorry, I'm new and don't know exactly what to say. Hi, my name is Erin

So, every Thursday night Jacob has basketball and I go and sit on the stage and watch. And every Thursday night (okay, it's only happened twice) I've been asked if I have a blog. I always sort of roll my eyes and heave a sigh and say no.

If you haven't been able to tell yet, I suck at writing and clearly have nothing to write about. But for Thursday night conversation's sake, I can now say that I am a proud owner of a blog. Thanks for pressuring me into it guys!

Geez, I feel like there is so much pressure on me now. I have to keep it up, take pictures of my kids, pretend to take my kids places so they will actually be doing something in those pictures, think of witty things to say, spell check, and try hard not to sound like too big of an idiot. Why am I doing this again? (sigh) (spell check) I don't even know how to use this. I am so behind the times with getting on the blogging band wagon (or myspace and facebook for that matter). But here I am at 12:40 AM, not sleeping and trying to write a blog.

In all actuality, I'm hoping not to many people will see it or once they come realize my life is pretty boring and not come back. But, if anyone chooses to follow this, maybe you'll learn something new about me; maybe I'll learn something new about myself.

These are my kids. There's Calvin, Cali, and Karadyn. Lucky for you I don't have a current picture of myself, but I'll treat you to one of my favorites.

And what the heck, here's one of me and my husband Jacob. NO, I'm not pregnant, it's just my favorite picture of us (Thanks Tyson!)

Well, this has already taken me way to long, and I'm not very good at all of this. Jacob and the kids are fast asleep, and even though I'm not at all tired, I should go lay down.

Hopefully, this has been...insightful for you. Maybe my blog will be a good conversation starter next Thursday night (I suck at socializing but Jacob can talk to a pole).

And now you know...??? (Why don't you tell me?)